DAY 7: ROUTINE

Sundays are usually pretty busy for us.  Our day is tied up until usually after P's nap in the afternoon.  And only then do we have a precious few hours before dinner, bath and bedtime, so I'm used to making the most of our time. That's why the visits with my baby and Patrick Sr. lately have been squeezed dry.  I try to soak up all that is my family and mold it into our new routine.  It's not necessarily bad - just really different.

My body aches.  I feel like I have aged substantially in just a week.  It's hard to believe that I've done nothing more than sit and I now creak around because of it.  Princess has hip and knee problems which because of she walks with a slight limp, other days more than some.  And now I can relate!  The physical therapist paid me a visit a couple of days ago and taught me some upper and lower body exercises, with some crossed out because they were too strenuous.  That's a real blow.  I would LOVE to exercise right now.  I've never been "much of" a runner - ha, ha - but suddenly I have a newfound urge to train for a marathon.  I don't even have to actually run it - just train!

The hospital nutritionist also came by and we talked about 'good food choices.'  Mmm-hmm.  I would rather pass on the choices, thank you.

Other than that, Baby is being well-behaved...and I guess I am too!

But He gives greater grace...

James 4:6

DAY 6: HOPE

I've always had hope although some days it may have gotten buried temporarily.  This past week has been a hard one emotionally and even physically because believe it or not, sitting is hard work!  But the one thing that has been constant is hope.  Thanks to my faith, family and friends, I've been wrapped in it.  

Yesterday was no different.  My priest paid me a visit and although I felt unworthy since there are many other people who probably needed a visit from him more than me, it certainly made my "hope tank" overflow.  As I saw Father Michael peak around my door, I was immediately at peace.  He has a way about him. :)  Plus, I received a special sacrament in the Catholic faith - Anointing of the Sick.  

The baby did well yet again during the non stress tests.  She seems to be quite content in there.  I forgot to mention that she has some hair!  I am excited to see if it will be dark like big brother Patrick's was at first...or blonde, taking after Daddy right away.  

Yesterday also felt more like I was holed up in a hotel room with my best friends during a girls weekend thanks to having my girls with me all day.  There's something about the smell of nail polish that makes a girl happy, right?  And a special mention to my best friend Christy who came all the way from OK to help me forget where I am.  And I kind of did when I woke up this morning with her on my couch!  I may just start calling my hospital room a hotel room.  That's more digestible.

As hard as this journey is, I know that God's grace will be sufficient for me.  I know that even when I may feel like I am alone, He is with me.  His love for me and for this precious baby is more than I will ever know.  I know that through prayer, my hope tank will always be full.  

But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord, I say, "You are my God." My times are in Your hands...

Psalm 31: 14-15

DAY 5: GOLD STAR

I am the proud recipient of a gold star which I got because of Baby Girl's good behavior.  (She must have learned from me!)  When we had the sono, the good news was shared that her amniotic fluid had INCREASED again to a 9.39!  And this time, all on it's own.  I'm sure bed rest has had a tiny something to do with it, but I'm encouraged as it was without IV fluids.  What a true gift for us on this very special day.

Our little sweetheart even showed off some of her southern charm as she had her ankles crossed.  Naturally I was proud of her ladylike ways but knowing that it's an indication as to good muscle tone, I was even happier.  She is still a busy body like her Mommy and must be picking up my slack, as she is moving double time in there.  Fine by me.

The sonograms will now happen each Tuesday and Friday.  I'm on a new schedule.  Fortunately for reporting sake, I will have them between 7 and 730 am, so we will hopefully kick off our days with good news.  

Even more good news is that although we see her cardiologist everyday, it's only for 'social purposes' as I like to say.  I won't have another echo until the week after next, since the baby is showing no sign of distress and her heart continues to look great (no changes) on the sonos.  

It's moments like these which make up my day and remind me that God is speaking.  I just need to be patient and listen.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

DAY 4: WAITING

I've always considered myself to be more of an impatient person than not.  Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of patience, but let's just say that I could always learn to have more!  Thanks to our situation and all that is offers, I am certainly perfecting the art of patience.  From the very beginning of this pregnancy, we've had to wait for test results, markers to be met or just for our sweet little one to grow.  And, now, waiting has turned into a full-time job.  But thanks to God's grace, I have never been more patient when it comes to this baby.  Other things, not so much, but when it comes to her I wait with a peaceful heart.

I've met with my OB and the baby's cardiologist today.  Things are good.  They more or less come by to say hi at this point.  The good news is that Baby Girl's non-stress tests continue to be the bright spots of each day, as she is showing no signs of distress in there.  As for my "Thursday sonogram," more waiting.  Dr. Weiss is out of town and the on-call doctor hasn't come yet.  

To help pass the time yesterday, Howie the therapy dog stopped by my room.  Little Patrick was here and LOVED showing off his 'gentle petting skills' which made this Mommy proud.  I'm glad that I got to touch a furry friend because I certainly miss mine.  Thank goodness for FaceTime.  

Over the past couple of days, I have been reminded of the goodness that God is capable of through friends and family like each of you.   Thank you for your continued prayers - I am humbled that you pray for our family each day as God brings us to your mind.  Thank you for encouraging us through what HE is telling you.  It's always just what we need to hear.

Be still and know that I am God.

Psalm 46:10

DAY 3: BABY STEPS

As we shuffle along, it's hard when there seem to be no 'answers.'  There are, however, pieces of good news sprinkled throughout and one is that our sweet baby seems to be holding steady.  Her non stress tests continue to show that she is doing well, despite the low fluid.  As long as this is the norm, then she can stay put.  We will continue to pray that this is so.

Another bright spot is that my "IV therapy" is coming to a halt today!  For many reasons, I am thankful, and selfishly I am for the tiniest bit of freedom which I will regain.  Baby steps, I know but certainly worth being thankful.  

Tomorrow we will have another sono but for now, it's back to diligently resting.

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

Proverbs 12:25   

DAY 2: CAPTIVE

I survived my first night being held captive on hospital bedrest.  Possibly being lost in the jungle would sound more appealing than being trapped in a hospital bed.  Although I do get to spice things up and sit on the couch every once in awhile which is an added bonus.

Bright and early this morning, I had a visit from Dr. Weiss (maternal fetal medicine specialist.)  I also had another sono to check on baby's fluid.  A huge praise is that the fluid had gone up to an 8.5 from 4.5 yesterday although I am still on IV hydration for awhile.  Since the baby is a "responder," I'm trying my best not to complain but go right ahead to assume what an INCONVENIENCE it is.  ahem.

Next on deck was a visit from my day nurse and a quick 30 minute listen to the baby's heart rate.  She sounds great.  My next test will be late afternoon.  These are important tests because they are the eyes and ears which judge how happy she is in there.  If she is under any stress at all, her heart rate will tell us and then action can be taken.  Because her fluid is still so low, it's not the most ideal situation for her in there but it's CERTAINLY better than be delivered now.

When Dr. Oliver (OB) came, he talked about my duration here being a day by day process with our punctuation days being Monday and Thursday when I have scheduled sonos.  Those will be the decision days provided baby continues to do well by passing her NST (non stress tests) twice daily.  If she shows any sign of distress during those tests, obviously I will have another sonogram to determine what is going on and asses the risk/make a decision on how to proceed.  It's still unknown what is causing the low fluid - most likely it's either her heart or placenta and if either get bad enough, she will make her debut.  However, right now she is going to sit tight in there and GROW.  We need her bigger, stronger and able to have surgery once she's born.

Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers and support.  

BIGGER CHANGES

The good news is I got two new bracelets today.  The bad news is that they aren't Cartier, rather plastic admin wrist bands which were handed to me when I was admitted to the hospital.  I am officially on bed rest until our sweet baby is born.  Needless to say, this afternoon hasn't been an easy one. 

When my husband and I went to the sonogram today, I didn't expect to hear that the amniotic fluid level had dropped, let alone to the 4.5 level that it is now.  In my heart, I believed that it was simply a case of an over-active 8 month preggers mommy with a toddler at home.  Unfortunately, something bigger, something uglier is the culprit and has yet to show itself.  In our baby's case, this only increases the risk of her already high risk state.  It's a day by day process now and the goal is to keep me preggers as long as possible until the 37 week mark.  Our February 14th c-section date is now long gone.  37 is the magic number, despite it leaving me confined to a hospital bed. If the risk of her being in my belly becomes greater than the risk of her being delivered early (however unimaginable that may seem), then she will be delivered.  She's being closely monitored twice daily with non stress tests which monitor her heart rate and twice weekly sonos.  She's passed her now 3 non stress tests today and hopefully I can be taken off IV hydration soon.  

I'll be updating much more frequently now.  Hopefully with good news but if it's not, don't forget that God's plan is a perfect one.  He is in control and He is good.  I trust you, God.  I do.