Last night Patrick, little P and I busted out in dance at dinner. Thankfully we were safely in our kitchen but it was strange because as happy and as much fun as we were having, I immediately remembered that Charlotte was missing. And yet, no matter what we do, she will always be missing - not in our hearts of course - but in our daily lives. I wish that she were in the thick of things, alongside of us as she claimed her space in our family of four.
Now that we've been on our own for awhile, (despite a little Mimi visit not long ago!) I am getting into the swing of being a full-time mom again. When you actually stop and think, I haven't answered to my usual calls of mom and wife fully since I went on bed rest after Christmas. Jokingly, I say that our Christmas company never left. It's true - we've been blessed beyond measure to have had our moms and even a dad help take care of us throughout. So although natural, having the full ownership of "mom" recently is bittersweet. It's nice to be back, but I can't help and think about her as I'm pushing Patrick's swing at the park. Most days they're "daydream" thoughts of her which make me feel warm and fuzzy and are a gift from Him. He knows my heart and He continues to comfort me, lifting me up with tender mercy.