I'm usually caught off guard when I'm out and hear, "is he your only one?" It's a stranger in a store who's pointed to Little Patrick while asking the question. I then spit out "yes," completely unaware but usually clue in as quickly as the words fall out...and then I'm left stumbling. I want to shout, "I have another baby! Her name is Charlotte." As I stumble through the next few minutes, I kick myself for not being quick enough to answer the way I want to. My friend explained that over time, I'll figure it out. My reality will be so real that my brain will comprehend the question right away. I can then answer, "no, I also have a little girl named Charlotte. She would be 4.5 months old." I know that as I'm living this new reality, I'm not alone. Charlotte's memory fills up my brain, our house and our hearts. And as we carry through the days to come, we will continue to carry her with us as we wait to be reunited with her in Heaven.
Thank you for your continued prayers for me, and my family. We feel your love, and even on the days when I feel despair creep inside my heart, I'm reminded of God's graciousness. He will continue to carry me as I draw Him near. And I remember that I am THANKFUL for the opportunity to have mothered such an incredible baby girl. She has blessed our lives immeasurably.