The tide is turning. And we're not sure which direction it's headed. Life seemed to be more sure of itself last week when Dr. Weiss seemed confident that I could make the February 14th (39 week) goal date. Although after today's visit, there is a 50/50 chance that our sweet one will be delivered on Friday.
Her amnio level has decreased again, and the umbilical cord blood flow is officially in the cause for concern area. This is the level it was when I was admitted to the hospital many moons ago, PS. The good news is that heart tracing on the non-stress test was great and her activity level has been normal, so it balances out the 'bad,' I suppose. Perhaps enough to send me home until Friday's routine sono, but we will have to wait and see if it's good enough to continue further. If she continues to trend downward then she will be delivered Friday morning, no questions asked. Dr. Weiss, who echos the group consensus, says if she does need to be delivered, he is not concerned that I would be 38 weeks along. Remember if the risk is too great for her to stay put, then she needs to be delivered for a more optimum environment for survival...so the "fear" of an earlier delivery is truly non-existent for me. Isn't it nice when you remember that God is control and you aren't? We don't have to make these tough decisions. We just have to be brave as we trust in our Heavenly Father's perfect plan.
Pray specifically that God grants Dr. Weiss with the wisdom and confidence necessary in making the decision of delivery. And if I'm headed for surgery, we pray that our team of doctors have steady hands and strong minds as they handle our baby. We pray for her lungs to be strong and developed, for her heart to be in tip top shape and for delivery to be smooth. We pray that her will to survive be great and her pain and suffering be minimal. Please pray for God's grace to continue to fill us with peace and the strength needed to walk this incredibly difficult walk, one which I never dreamed to be living. Please pray that as a mother, I am able to minister to my daughter in ways that she will feel my presence when I'm not even allowed to hold her. And selfishly I pray that my epidural is as painless as it was the first time around when I had Patrick, as well as for my surgery and recovery both to be without complication yet swift so that my focus may remain on my precious baby. As always, thank you for your constant prayers and support.
The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever - forsake not the works of Your own hands.