Thursday, January 31, 2013


My little Patrick always comes to my rescue, even when I don't know I need rescuing.  Yesterday as we were driving home, he was looking at photos on my phone when I heard, "there's my sister Charlotte."  Just hearing him say those words made my heart happy as I understood he recognizes her as his sister.  And shortly thereafter I heard, "where's my other sister?"  I had to laugh as I explained she's still in mommy's belly which seemed to satisfy him for the moment.  When he came across a picture of Mommy and Charlotte, he matter of factly said, "you at hospital, I home."  Yes, my child...I was at the hospital all those days while you were looked after at home, despite how desperately I pleaded otherwise. And as profound to me as it is, I realize that his now almost 3 year old mind is able to express itself as he carries Charlotte's memory in his heart so proudly.  To this mama, it's just what the doctor ordered. 

Monday, January 28, 2013


I was driving Patrick Jr. to MDO, affectionately known around here as "school," when I happened to look up on that particularly non-January, gorgeous morning.  As I stared at the sky and the fast moving clouds, I saw a heart take shape.  For awhile I just stared at it, thankful that I was at a stoplight, but quickly gathered myself enough to ask my brain to think.  I mean, I needed to capture with a photo - duh.  I snapped a quick one with my iPhone as the light turned green and off I went.  At first I didn't think I'd gotten it, but fortunately I pulled up the photo later that day and saw the beautiful heart staring back at me.  It's a small, blue heart (above the door in the semi), outlined in white clouds.  I shake my head now because I described it as a 'blue heart' and that's exactly what my Char's was - a blue heart, in medical lingo, of course.


When I actually stop to think about it, I realize that ONE is a monumental occasion.  I think back to Patrick's 1st birthday and I spent weeks planning that blessed occasion - one which he has no memory of nor that he ever will.  But don't fault the mommy, especially the former event planner mommy, because it's in my blood.  So it's only natural that I would want to plan something for the occasion of my daughter's birthday, but I'm not.  Of course we're planning on celebrating her in our own way come Sunday, but it won't be met with head counts, menus, favors or a birthday outfit.  It'll be quieter, but just as joyful because as my mother puts it, the day Charlotte Rose was born was one of our best life days and, to me, that's reason to celebrate.  

I would have never chosen this path we've walked over the past year plus, but I'm thankful for it because I met my daughter.  My first born daughter lay in my arms, looked into my eyes and allowed me to be her mother.  And I felt my heart expand...again.  Despite her absence, her presence is felt in our hearts, within the walls of our house and in our every thought and memory because simply put, she was one of us and forever will be.  She is ours...and she is missed.


Baby #3 continues to look beautifully during testing.  Last week Dr. Weiss had an early chance to look at her heart, despite just how small it really is, but everything seen is exactly. as. it. should. be.  (ANGELS SING HERE) We still have the 22 week echocardiogram to look forward to in a few weeks.  It'll allow a true look of her fully formed heart...and I pray to hear those words "healthy and well."  So now we wait, and enjoy good health and a happy Mommy.

Monday, January 21, 2013


Thanks to our newest McKittrick baby, this mommy hasn't been feeling up to snuff until lately.  The good news is that morning sickness seems to be a thing of the past and with the holidays behind us, we're falling into our normal routine again.  

Over the last few months, we've been busily sewing, sewing, sewing...and my little fingers have loved every minute of it.  I'm proud to introduce Charlotte's Teddy Bears, a program at Medical City CHSU.  Thanks to the special efforts of a darling friend of mine, the program which was already in place at the unit, has been renamed Charlotte's Teddy Bears and is officially ours!  My heart is bursting with pride as we are able to honor our SWEET CHARLOTTE with something so lovely.  Each teddy proudly wears a sewn on heart bearing 'stitches' like the patients own "zippers." Remember Charlotte's?  I absolutely love that we are able to touch the lives of each and every heart baby of the unit and their families during such challenging times in their lives.  I'd like to think that Miss Charlotte would have approved.

Thanks to the generous support of friends like you who donate teddy bears, we are able to provide one to each child admitted to the CHSU.  I love hosting teddy bear drives locally.  If you're interested in partnering with me to host one at your church, school, bank or organization, please contact me at  

To many of the children like our Char Char, the teddy bear's are a symbol of hope for a better future.  And just as it's a symbol of hope for those walking the journey, it's very much so for us as we continue to walk our very own while carrying SWEET CHARLOTTE in our hearts.

Monday, January 14, 2013


Awhile ago, Patrick was in a parking lot and dropped his cup of water.  When he happened to look down at the cement, he noticed what was staring back at him.  Take a look for yourself!  

Saturday, January 5, 2013


Just a friendly mass blog post that we are expecting a baby in late June.  We have passed a few hurdles with testing so far, including an initial screen of baby's HEART.  She officially has four chambers.  Can I get an amen?  Additionally, we have more testing specifically at weeks 18 and 22 but are hopeful that we continue on the good news track.

And, thanks to modern medicine, through initial testing it was revealed that there is no Y chromosome which means that McBaby is a officially a Patty Mac!  We are having a girl.  

Thank you for your prayers and well wishes!