ONE

When I actually stop to think about it, I realize that ONE is a monumental occasion.  I think back to Patrick's 1st birthday and I spent weeks planning that blessed occasion - one which he has no memory of nor that he ever will.  But don't fault the mommy, especially the former event planner mommy, because it's in my blood.  So it's only natural that I would want to plan something for the occasion of my daughter's birthday, but I'm not.  Of course we're planning on celebrating her in our own way come Sunday, but it won't be met with head counts, menus, favors or a birthday outfit.  It'll be quieter, but just as joyful because as my mother puts it, the day Charlotte Rose was born was one of our best life days and, to me, that's reason to celebrate.  

I would have never chosen this path we've walked over the past year plus, but I'm thankful for it because I met my daughter.  My first born daughter lay in my arms, looked into my eyes and allowed me to be her mother.  And I felt my heart expand...again.  Despite her absence, her presence is felt in our hearts, within the walls of our house and in our every thought and memory because simply put, she was one of us and forever will be.  She is ours...and she is missed.