Yesterday was a great day. It was amazing as SWEET CHARLOTTE was placed in my arms again and a memory which I have kept reliving ever since.
I thought we'd crossed over another BIG hurdle when she came off the ventilator, but it ended up being short-lived when she was re-intubated last night. A minor set back for Charlotte because she's just not strong enough to breathe on her own quite yet, but a major one for Mommy. Just because my brain understands doesn't mean that my heart does. Emotionally, it's been a harder day for that fact alone. And then I saw the neurologist.
He came because Charlotte's weekly head ultrasound showed a different picture than last week's. Enough so, that Dr. Neurologist paid us a visit. Her ventricles are enlarged because they are not draining effectively into the spinal column. If enough fluid accumulates, then pressure builds to an unsafe amount. Obviously this doesn't make for a cohesive environment and if it doesn't resolve on its own, she will require surgery to fix - a shunt is placed in her brain to drain the fluid. We will know more tomorrow and are looking at having another scan later this week before we know if she needs surgery or not. We pray for SUPERNATURAL HEALING.
Also still on our PRAYER PLATE..... We pray that the leaky thoracic duct resolves with medication and her 'nothing by mouth' diet. If not, she will require surgery to ligate the duct. We also pray that the swelling in her chest decreases substantially and supernaturally! If not, then a catheter will be surgically placed to drain it. Believe it or not, it's called a pig tail catheter. Leave it to the medical community to glamorize it.
Sometimes I feel like although I may seem unruffled, I'm paddling like crazy underneath. And though I may feel this way, I know that GOD is right there beside me. And then I take a breath again. And choke back tears. I trust you, God. I trust you with my whole HEART...and Charlotte's too.